Urgent News Update: Foreigner Sighting

Spotted: One foreigner, walking to the local supermarket with a shopping bag in hand.


One artist’s rendition of the foreigner.


The town was shocked when at least 20 locals saw a blonde foreigner walking to the supermarket on Saturday. This sighting is coming after a long string of reports saying the same foreigner has been seen walking along the street in the mornings, and often seen again walking along the same street in the opposite direction in the evenings.

It is unclear at this time what the foreigner’s intentions are, or even where she returns to during the nighttime.

Early reports on Saturday claimed that while she was at the supermarket the foreigner bought a bag of taco flavored Doritos, a bag of apples, and a loaf of bread, but these reports have yet to be confirmed. We may never know exactly what her purpose for going to the supermarket was, but many have been speculating.

“I think she was just trying to do some regular shopping,” said one supermarket employee. “She comes in like twice a week and buys some food.”

Others don’t think her intentions are quite as innocent, however. One supermarket patron told us that the presence of the foreigner caused their shopping experience to be slightly more stressful than usual.

“I saw her walking towards me down the pre-made food aisle and I didn’t know if I should say something to her. It’s not like I ever talk to other people at the supermarket,” they continued, “but something about the look in that foreigner’s eye made me feel really nervous that she was going to try talking to me.”

Whether she was simply trying to buy some apples or something more sinister is at this moment still unclear. Rest assured that we will be following this story closely and will share any updates as they become available.


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